Enter: Connor Hawke

[newoutsiders]

Amusement Mile, 91 Sorkin Avenue. Gotham City.

Home.

You knew it was going to be hard, making a clean start for yourself far away from the Arrow Clan. You didn’t think it was going to be this hard. But with most of your boxes unpacked, and tenants displaced by a gentrified Burnside filing into this once abandoned entertainment district- thanks to your generous, rent controlled prices- you’re finally back in the landlording game.

At least this was a cheap get. Even with all the gentrification going on in this neighborhood, for some reason the buildings down this part of Sorkin Avenue were priced to move. You figure it’s just Gotham- people get scared and leave town all the time. Fortunately for your tenants, they’ve got a superhero for a landlord.

There’s still a lot to do. There’s that zen garden you want to put up on the roof, that isn’t even close to finished. The Bailey family on the second floor still isn’t getting water in their kids’ bathroom. Not to mention—

You’re interrupted from meditating in your spartan spare bedroom by the ring of a doorbell.

Comments

[not_easy_being_green]

Connor goes to his apartment, changing back into his costume and trying to think what he's going to say before heading to the roof.

[newoutsiders]

You consider researching your CapeScape account a little more, but remember the WiFi in your apartment will be out until Monday. But you had a pretty good look on "Batgirl's" phone yesterday, so you should at least be able to address the important things.

[not_easy_being_green]

"Okay, are you ready?" he asks when he gets up there.

At Lemmy's confirmation, Connor looks into the camera.

"... hi."

He clears his throat.

"So I met with- the Burnside Batgirl earlier today. And she told me that she'd seen and really loved my videos on some site called CapeScape. This kind of surprised me, because I... don't have a CapeScape account. I'd never even heard of this site before today. I'm not really on the internet a lot. So I'm here with - Metalhead? - after we teamed up earlier, because he volunteered to help me sort this out."

"Listen. Whoever's been impersonating me... I don't really know who you are, or why you're doing this. I don't know how you apparently got verified. I don't know where you got those videos. I don't know if you just thought I'd never find out, or what. But I'm not flattered, by any of this."

"I understand... following heroes in the news. If you're some type of fan, then I'm flattered. But you haven't just been - following my exploits or whatever. You've been treating my life like some type of game. You've been pretending to be me. You've been posting videos of some very - some very personal videos. And I'm here to ask you to... stop, and to let everyone know that whoever is behind this account... it's not me."

The camera clicks off. Connor shuffles nervously. "Was that good? Did I do okay?"

[newoutsiders]

"Hold on, shit," Lemmy says, fumbling with the phone. "That was great, yeah. Perfect. But, uh. I had it in picture mode. Can we go again?"

[not_easy_being_green]

"Oh, uh. Okay. Ready for sure?"

Connor clears his throat again, trying to remember what he had to say. "... hi? Uh, so the Burnside Batgirl and I kind of teamed up earlier, and she mentioned that apparently there was... that there's an account under my name on a site called "Capescape?" Except I don't have a CapeScape account. Today was the first time I'd even heard of CapeScape. So Metalhead said he'd help me sort this out, I guess?"

"So, to whoever's been impersonating me... I don't really know why you're doing this, or how you managed to convince everyone you were me, well enough to get verified, or where you got those videos. I don't know if you just thought I'd never find out, or what."

"Look, when I was a kid, I used to always follow - some heroes in the news. I get it. But you're not just - some harmless fan. This - you've been pretending to be me. Treating my life like some type of game. And you've been posting videos of some very personal videos. So I'm letting everyone know that whoever is behind this account, it isn't me, and I'm asking whoever's impersonating me to please just... stop. This is my life, not some kind of game."

The camera clicks off again. "Did you get it that time?"

[newoutsiders]

Lemmy grimaces.

"You're gonna hate me."

[not_easy_being_green]

Connor sighs quietly.

"Okay. You're absolutely sure?"

"Hi. I'm here with Metalhead because I just found out that apparently someone's been pretending to be me on a site called 'CapeScape.' Look, I don't really know who you are, or how you got verified or whatever, and I definitely don't know where you've been getting some of these videos, but it needs to stop. This isn't just following me in the news or whatever - you've been pretending to be me. You've been uploading some of the most personal moments of my life like it's a joke. This is my life, not some kind of game. So I just wanted everyone to know, whoever's been running that account, it's not me, and it needs to stop."

[newoutsiders]

"GOT IT!" Lemmy says. "We did it! That was great. I guess my only problem is that it sounded, uh, a little rehearsed."

[not_easy_being_green]

Connor gives Lemmy a long look.

"Does it really matter?"

[newoutsiders]

"I, uh. Heh. I guess not. I can go upload this at Sundollar. Thanks for not killing me. These cameras are a bitch."

[not_easy_being_green]

He tries to smile. Lemmy'd just been trying to help. "It's all right, I probably would have done worse. Thank you for your help, seriously. But, uh... you're sure you want to go over to Sundollar now instead of using your phone's 4G?"

He's glad Lemmy's taken his transformation in stride, but he's... not entirely sure he's quite realized just what it means for him.

[newoutsiders]

"Oh, yeah. The 4G. I've, uh, kind of exceeded my data plan. It's a whole thing, don't worry about it. Point is: no more 4G for the rest of the month. So get that internet up, Mr. Landlord! Heh. Sorry."

Then he eyes you suspiciously.

"Wait... Connor Hawke, are you trying to protect me? Are you trying to superhero me? The guy made of living metal? I don't care how I look right now, man. I was thinking about getting a piercing or a tattoo or something anyway, while I was in Gotham. I guess this covers me."

[not_easy_being_green]

"Um."

"... yeah, okay, I am. I'm glad you're taking this so well, but you haven't really been in public like this yet. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting into."

[newoutsiders]

"People have been looking at me weird all my life," Lemmy says. "Might as well give 'em something to look at. Huh. I wonder if I still need to sleep. Or if I can even eat anymore. Or if I can SMOKE! FUCK! Hold on, Mr. Hawke, I need to try something real quick! Then right to Sundollar, I promise!" He zooms down the stairwell in a stream of liquid metal to his room.

[not_easy_being_green]

... well, Lemmy is looking like he's in for an... unpleasant surprise. Connor changes back into civilian clothing, then goes to the door outside Lemmy's apartment.

[newoutsiders]

You've waited longer than a reasonable amount of time. It seems like Lemmy's not coming out.

[not_easy_being_green]

Connor knocks on the door. "Lemmy?"

[newoutsiders]

"Forget it, man!" Lemmy shouts. "I'm gonna use the 4G! I don't care about fucking overages right now! I'm a fucking metal goop man!"

[not_easy_being_green]

And there it is. Connor had been wondering when this would happen.

"That's not really what I care about right now. Can I come in?"

[newoutsiders]

"I don't need to see you right now, dude!" He shouts. "Oh man. What if this computer thing I'm in runs out of charge? How do I plug myself in? Am I solar powered or something? Nobody gave me an instruction manual! ...Whatever! Door's open!"

[not_easy_being_green]

Connor opens the door, then closes it behind him gently.

Well, at least this hadn't happened in the middle of a crowded Sundollar's.

"Have you ever heard of the Metal Men, Lemmy?"

[newoutsiders]

You find him on a recliner, trying to feed himself a slice of pizza and not doing too well at it.

"I dunno man. Is that like a cover band?"

[not_easy_being_green]

"No. They're a group of heroes. Animated metal men. I don't know a huge amount about them - I've only ever heard of them through my father - but their creator, Dr. Magnus, worked on technology similar to your Responsometer. I could probably get you his number, if you want. I'm sure there's a lot you have to ask him."

[newoutsiders]

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess that'd be cool," he says. "Thanks. And I'll pass on what I find out to the others. Did you know we're all kind of linked? That's how Grundy controlled them when they were all gingolded. We have like a built in walkie talkie to each other. Me, Sal, Silverpool, and, uh, that other guy who ran off I guess. He's not taking our calls."

[newoutsiders]

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess that'd be cool," he says. "Thanks. And I'll pass on what I find out to the others. Did you know we're all kind of linked? That's how Grundy controlled them when they were all gingolded. We have like a built in walkie talkie to each other. Me, Sal, Silverpool, and, uh, that other guy who ran off I guess. He's not taking our calls."